Confidence and How to use it

The way you think has a large part to do with how you learn. Having a positive outlook on yourself and on life can truly take you far. Leadership, willingness to go out of your comfort zone, and an ability to see people in a positive light, are all traits that are related to how you see yourself, and therefore related to confidence. My friend Jon explores confidence in this piece: 

Confidence is the root of all things good. Once you are confident your thinking evolves and you transform into this being at peace with yourself and everyone around you. If you believe in yourself and follow your heart when it knocks on your chest the first time around, listen. Don’t cower away and ignore your brain when its telling you to take a risk or to do something outside of your norms. The next time your heart knocks on your chest these knocks will become decreasingly loud until the constant ignoring creates a shy, and probably frustrated person. This frustration is a source of the anger and resentment you feel towards yourself for not being confident in the first place. The way you eliminate this cycle of frustration is to pursue confidence from the get-go.

You might be thinking, too much confidence = arrogance. This is true. However, not enough confidence results in what I just wrote above. In order to balance your confidence levels get a clear idea of in your head of it is to be humble and what it is to be a jerk. Someone who is humble can be confident as long as this person has faith in his/her abilities without basing these abilities on someone else’s achievements. For example, you get an awesome grade on a math test, and one of your friends doesn’t do so hot. Your friend says, “I did pretty bad on this test”. As a confident person you respond and say, “Well I did pretty good”. WRONG! Don’t say that, ever. That’s a back handed slap saying I’m better than you and your a moron. Even if that sincerely isn’t what you’re thinking it comes out that way. The right thing to say is “Hey, cheer up, maybe math isn’t your thing, but if you need my help I willing to help out or if you want me to go with you to ask the teacher for some help I’ll do that for you”. This provides support for your friend, but at the same time you keep your confidence in check and fight the arrogance. This task proves to be very difficult for many people and others can pull it off easily. The key is resistance. When you want to show off your accomplishments or show that your proud of yourself, hold it back. If you think about it showing off and acting like a jerk is your way of satisfying yourself when you do something well. However, a person that is truly confident doesn’t need to do this because arrogance is in fact a sign of a lack of confidence instead of an excess of confidence. This is how this whole confidence thing goes down: 1) You do something good. 2) You keep it to yourself. 3) You use your abilities to help another person that isn’t that good. 4) You feed this want for approval by serving as a life line for others.

What if your problem is that you don’t speak up enough? Well the solution to your confidence issue is purposely embarrassing yourself. If your socially awkward just let your awkwardness guide you. If people give you a stink eye, feel bad for 5 minutes, and then get over it. Once you do this multiple times you build up your confidence levels to a point that you do what you want to do with emphasis and with passion. This is the way to make yourself less sub-conscience. It’s all about practice. I used to do this all the time when I had this problem. I was very quiet, and kept a lot to myself. I had all of these cool ideas swimming in my head and they never made it out of the pool because I drowned them before they could get out. I was so nervous to speak out in front of people that I suppressed my ideas and started to hate myself. One day I couldn’t take it anymore so I was like, “Forget this, I’m cracking jokes”. My jokes were horrible, I was super corny, and people looked at me like they wanted to stab me. If I went to another one of the high schools near my home, there was a good chance that someone might have actually stabbed me (I’m not joking). However, I was finally building the fearlessness I needed to get my ideas out. Once I got these terrible jokes out of the way I substituted them with the awesomeness in my mind and became known for my interesting thinking. I was now confident, but when I see someone with a lack of confidence I remember the old me, and try to feed their egos. Someone that looks like they need to be praised should be praised, and their confidence soars. Even if it’s not someone you know that well, TRY. You build their confidence, while building your own by talking to a person that is nearly a stranger and helping them.

The moral of the story is that confidence isn’t a trait that only certain people have. It’s a process, and the more you practice being confident the more confident you will become. So next time your heart knocks on your chest, open yourself up and let whatever comes out into the air so that you can get that confidence that will allow you to accomplish your goals. Whether these goals are to become a sports star, a media star, an actor/actress, a model, a writer, a musician, or even a janitor you go for it and make it happen.

Peace and Love J.D.

 
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1 comment
  1. zgsactress said:

    Great post!

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